Please me some advice about balance of face parts and everything else.

Great drawing! I like those rough and unfinished lines.

The lines seem to be a bit cluttered.

I love the resemblance, it is quite good. on the hair you managed very well to show several shades making it deeper. You should try the same on the face, try to set aside a scale of levels of darkness and use it on to give it profoundness. In fast portraits don't be afraid of high contrast in any case.